I will be keeping this online journal during my next six months of training and preparation for the Disney World Marathon. January 2004. However, please keep in mind it's just an ordinary journal to help track my own progress and a personal reminder of my comittment. It may seem kind of silly, or boring, however, if I believe someone may be tracking my progress, perhaps I'll do better. In fact, for all intensive purposes I will call this journal my "PERSONAL TRAINER". The first entry, is my first diary entry from "two" years ago, however, the rest of my entries will be recorded this year -- I'm just keeping this one as a goodluck charm.

June 3, 2001 11:45 p.m.

Dear Personal Trainer:

I went to say goodbye this evening to my inspiration for running,"John Doe", he's leaving for the whole summer. It wasn't a sad good-bye. Occassionally, there's a particular goodbye, that seems more like hello. This was one of those particular goodbyes.

Right before I left, we took our picture together, in need of a photographer, we used the mirror in his hallway! This is a picture of me and "John Doe" -- of course, I cropped it-- for the purposes of my public journal -- to protect his identity, he's just "John Doe".

Being the dreamy girl I am, I can still see him standing there, that's all that matters!

I'm tired now and have a long week ahead of me, so I must sleep now.

Goodnight,

June 17, 2003

Dear Personal Trainer:

The most amazing thing happened today. "John Doe" had not been speaking to me for a very, very long time, that is, until today. That's the amazing part, we talked.

I know that since I started running the National AIDS Marathon Program -- I've completed five marathons -- Chicago 2000, Los Angeles 2001, Honolulu 2001, Honolulu 2002 and Vancouver Canada International Marathon 2003 just last month, but without John in my life -- I've literally been "Running on Empty." I'm so happy for today and hope I can hold today in my heart and use it to help me move forward in life and my runs.

Also, I pray that somehow both of us can find peace now. And I pray John knows that I really do love him and that I have never stopped believing in him.

I hope that we will talk soon. Afterall, ever since we hung up today -- I've been thinking of so many things I had wanted to share with him that I never had a chance to. Little things, like, when Clay Aiken on American Idol sang "Like A Bridge Over Trouble Water" it brought to mind the love John once knew.

I'm so tired now, goodnight.

Marie